Last month, I shared some reflections on the tension between vision and reality. This month, I want to take you a step further—into the uncomfortable, gritty, and holy work of becoming.
At Legendary Legacies, we don’t just run programs. We walk with people, young men who’ve learned to navigate life using tools that were handed to them out of necessity, not intention. Tools shaped by survival. Environments shaped by scarcity. Responses shaped by trauma.
So, we start small.
We do this exercise where we hand each participant a pen and ask them to write their name with their dominant hand. Feels natural. Easy. No thought required.
Then we tell them:
Now do it with your other hand.
They look at me like I’m crazy.
The room gets quiet. Some laugh, some sigh, some scribble.
It’s uncomfortable.
It’s messy.
It doesn’t feel like “them.”
That’s when I lean in and say:
“This is what transformation feels like.”
Because here’s the truth:
Many of our participants have been socialized into believing a certain narrative about themselves. That they’re only valuable in chaos. That vulnerability is weakness. That power means control. That survival is the goal.
And to be clear those beliefs didn’t come from nowhere.
They came from real experiences. From real pain. From systems and streets that never gave them the chance to see another way.
But now they’re setting goals—real goals. Goals that involve stability, fatherhood, entrepreneurship, leadership, peace.
And the tools that helped them survive won’t always help them thrive.
That’s the hard part.
Because survival is a kind of muscle memory. It’s familiar. It’s what the dominant hand knows.
But transformation? Becoming something you’ve never seen before?
That requires a different hand. A different rhythm. A different mindset.
The Uncomfortable, Holy Work of Rewriting Your Story
And it’s going to feel like writing your name with your non-dominant hand.
Unnatural. Frustrating. Slow.
But not impossible.
We remind our guys every day:
You don’t rise to the level of your goals you fall to the level of your habits.
And excellence isn’t something you achieve once it’s who you become through what you consistently do.
So we build new muscle memory.
We practice new patterns.
We stay in the discomfort long enough to see growth take root.
To anyone reading this whether you’re in the work or watching from a distance—I want to say this:
If your goals require a different version of you, don’t run from the tension. Don’t abandon the process just because it feels foreign.
Stay with it.
Practice.
Keep showing up.
Eventually, what once felt unnatural will feel like home.
Because that’s what becoming is all about.
Brother in the work,
– Ron
